Tonight's the night.
I finally am going to a dance and have to deal with seeing Sam with another girl.
This is going to take all my nerve.
<3
Will your System Be alright when you dream of home tonight?
There is no message, where is she then?
Let me know if your heart's still beating.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tonight will be the night that I will fall
Shit.
I hate the days before holiday breaks. They give us a crazy work load, which makes sense; they're teachers, this is what they do.
But I need this break so much. I'm losing my mind left and right. My history teacher caught me frantically being frantic in the halls twice last week. Fail.
But I realized that if I fail my Chem test Friday I'll have no choice but to drop the class. I failed one quiz already. It's pathetic. The grade is a disgrace. I didn't have nearly enough time for the quiz, and it's totally going to fucking drag down my grade for the fucking class.
But I burned the fucking grade off the quiz, and kept the paper for exam puposes. I like burning things.
I'm a bit buggy lately. Friday I'm going to a dance with Allen, who had been pursuing me since summer but has recently dropped chase. I figure it won't be awkward with him, he's a cool friend.
But this isn't at my school. It's at Allen's.
And I know for a fact Sam will be there.
Damn if I didn't think I had that problem licked.
He WILL be there, with his girlfriend, who he is clearly fucking senseless. Yes, vulgar language. But he is. They are.
I was so proud of myself last Friday when I successfully went on an ecursion to Wal Mart before the play (I ended up doing lights. I loved it.) with Sam and Teddy. I didn't fawn over Sam and had a great time on a simple shopping trip.
But Saturday I fell apart, and Sam's been dancing in my thoughts again.
He never liked me.
He's a manwhore.
Stop doing this to yourself.
I wish I could.
But what am I going to Friday?
I guess I better get a good dress. I have my red heels from the party two weeks ago.
Better knock him dead and remind him, yet again, what he's missing.
I think he knows he's making a big mistake with other girls, but he knows he can't have me. I'm not that easy.
One day, we'll end these mind games.
In about a week, I'll forget about Sam again.
Til then, I have a religion test and Spanish quiz tomorrow.
Damn.
I hate the days before holiday breaks. They give us a crazy work load, which makes sense; they're teachers, this is what they do.
But I need this break so much. I'm losing my mind left and right. My history teacher caught me frantically being frantic in the halls twice last week. Fail.
But I realized that if I fail my Chem test Friday I'll have no choice but to drop the class. I failed one quiz already. It's pathetic. The grade is a disgrace. I didn't have nearly enough time for the quiz, and it's totally going to fucking drag down my grade for the fucking class.
But I burned the fucking grade off the quiz, and kept the paper for exam puposes. I like burning things.
I'm a bit buggy lately. Friday I'm going to a dance with Allen, who had been pursuing me since summer but has recently dropped chase. I figure it won't be awkward with him, he's a cool friend.
But this isn't at my school. It's at Allen's.
And I know for a fact Sam will be there.
Damn if I didn't think I had that problem licked.
He WILL be there, with his girlfriend, who he is clearly fucking senseless. Yes, vulgar language. But he is. They are.
I was so proud of myself last Friday when I successfully went on an ecursion to Wal Mart before the play (I ended up doing lights. I loved it.) with Sam and Teddy. I didn't fawn over Sam and had a great time on a simple shopping trip.
But Saturday I fell apart, and Sam's been dancing in my thoughts again.
He never liked me.
He's a manwhore.
Stop doing this to yourself.
I wish I could.
But what am I going to Friday?
I guess I better get a good dress. I have my red heels from the party two weeks ago.
Better knock him dead and remind him, yet again, what he's missing.
I think he knows he's making a big mistake with other girls, but he knows he can't have me. I'm not that easy.
One day, we'll end these mind games.
In about a week, I'll forget about Sam again.
Til then, I have a religion test and Spanish quiz tomorrow.
Damn.
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