The sight of you will prove to me I'm still alive

I'm just so damn uncomfortable in my skin today. And this week.

Sam justtt oh well fuck.

He ended it with the girl from my school before school even started. Talked to me again.

And he's back on my mind. I tell myself he's just a friend but.

Fuck.

I can't bring myself to say it. But this isn't about Sam today, not entirely.

I just don't feel right. Antsy. Crawly. I no longer die of starvation from my kidney meds, but I'm still antsy and all. I seriously don't feel self-concious any more; I was dying of that before school started. I just don't feel comfortable no matter what any more.

I need to something to flip my life around or just a new perspective or something. Changing my room didn't do anything. Losing the brother to college isn't doing anything.

I want to be in the school musical so badly it hurts. I fear I may get suicidal if I don't get in. I need this.

Sorry for the lameass post. Med Girl is hungry and needs fewd and has to go back to school tonight so yeah, I'm boring today.

Look how they shine for you

A lame attempt at pointing out my personal flaws:

obviously you know all your good qualities. so what say i enlighten you to some of your not so good ones.
While you are an intellectual, you're socially and emotionally immature.
Your brand of comedy only appeals to a select few.
You're smart to the point where it's annoying.
You have a shyness and possibly a fear of intimacy about you that's gonna prevent you from having a serious boyfriend or getting a guy that you're interested in for a long time. (Guys pick up on that)
You can argue with me, but i'm not by any means the only person who thinks these things. :)

It's fun to finally know how far under "the closest thing to an ex you have"'s skin you got.

Besides, I'm not annoyingly intelligent; I'm intimidating.

I'll dave the Sam drama for later.

Kidney biopsy tomorrow D: I'm kinda nervous, but Mimsy and Johanna are coming :3

But I have to get up before 6 AM. That's the worst.
And Sam's away, so I can't text him while I'm there.
I woulod have loved that.